Wah!!!! I wanted to blog so much yesterday, but I was in the toilet and when I went out, my bro is glued to the comp already!!! This morning, from round 8:30 till now is mine hwahwahwa!!! Crazee....

Neway, I cut a bit of my fringe yest, not relli noticable but at least easier to handle as I can comb the rest of the hair into my hairband and I still wont look bald. I like it v much!

I want to say something bout yest tt I relli want to say but I relli cant remember, haiz...

Neway, I dunno wad to give Mdm Irma n Mdm Dewi... And all the rest of the teachers... Haiz...

I dunno wad to say leh, so I guess cyaz nx time! Buai buai!

Sleepy deh... Aiyoh...

Today we revealed the Angels-Mortal thingy. Well... urm... half the class or less did actually... Before I had the chance to tell Valerie I'm her mortal she already went up to me and asked, "Are you my mortal?" I knew it, she would know, I wasn't careful a couple of times too many.

Anyway, today oso we (several Sec 3 classes) had our oral exam. I'm the last in line and since I was cold and nervous I couldn't sit still. If in Malay, it'd be a phrase: Like a burning worm... I changed place God-knows how many times. I'm lucky that I sat near Valerie, Karen, Si Hui and Alia. They helped me quite a lot oso lar. So... my turn in front of Mrs Verma... Nervous, panicked, forgot whatever I wanna say, uh oh! The passage was about err... wait a min... I 4got! All I know was Mrs Verma commented I was too fast and so can't hear some words properly. The pict convo was bout the spectators at a soccer match. I forgot words like spectators and get together and I didn't interpret much. From what Mrs Verma told me, I think I passed but very low... The convo was to talk about a game where my team lost. I forgot things like "try to do better" next time, "should have encouraged my team members", "boost the spirit of my team members" and stuff like that. *smacks head* Boo hoo!!! I know I could have done much much better! Mrs Verma actually had to prompt me to tell me about feelings or atmosphere... Haiz...

Hmm... all I can think of now is how hard I'll need to work this weekend to finish ALL my hw, play piano/flute/violin, ballet, speak Mandarin & Arab fluently and sleep (and someone...). If only all these imaginations (daydreams hehe) can come true. How I wish...

Erm... I gtg to Bio and some A Maths then I'm gonna let myself be eaten up by ZzZzZz monster! I'll update ya on this whole wk nx tyme, early nitez!!!!!

Hey!!! I dunno why but I seem to talk alot nowadays, be it to myself, to someone who isn't listening or to someone that just doesn't seem to understand what am I talking about.

During recess, I plyed badminton in the hall with Khai and Meiying. Meiying good leh! Wah me and Khai were like running half crazy, haha! I think she should join that interhouse badminton competition. That reminds me, I feel like joining, but well... I think I'd juz embarrass myself later.

Chemistry test!!!! First time I say that it's easy and I finished whole paper!!!!! I hope I get full marks, pls, pls, pleazie weezie with cheezie weezie cherry on top!!! Long time I never get full marks ya noe!

Btw, met Ms Low juz now and told her bout the loooooong story. Got confused halfway but straightened out at last. There was supposed to be ELDDS phototaking today for INFORM, but 3/1 classroom was used by Sec 4s and Fahmi said no meeting so I went home.

Anw, poor Abbas... He wrote two good articles for INFORM and both were not accepted. Aiyoh!

Juz now before dinner I came online, I tot I can finish my SS hols hw (yea I noe, I noe!) but I ended up playing all kinds of great games on yahoo with Sylvia. So fun! But now I really need to finish that SS hw + SS SBQ qns + Physics brain gym n marks gainer + chem eqn ws + bio crossword puzzle ws + A-Maths hols hw (ok, JUZ SHUT UP) + A-Maths wks n wks ago assignments on factor/remainder theorem, linear law, funct and trigo funct + E-Maths txbk... Help!!!!! I'm so dead! All this by tmr or thursday! How!!!!

Then on Fri I got... OMG! I'm supposed to do library make-up duty but I juz remembered I have oral exams and I'm the last one in line!!!!! No!!!!! Ok, I realli need to go, I'm dead, cyaz, I'm dead, bye, I'm... alive!!!!!

Asri! It was all... just a lie?? A big joke?? How can you? I knew it, migrating haha yeah rite.

But anywaez, Rehana's REALLI going back to England tmr, no doubt abt tt. Bubbye Rehana!

Ok, I've got lotsa things to write after 3 days. Let's see... Li Jia Wei, Singapore's table tennis player didn't make it into the finals. She already got 3 game point and North Korea (I think) only got 1 but the N.K. caught up and Jia Wei missed making into the final round and clinching either gold or silver just by 2/3 points! Urgh! I hate tt N.K. woman, keep shouting when she gets a point, I'm sure it was to distract Jia Wei and make her tense!!!!

Oh how can I forget to say this... 3/1 and 3/3 made it for the Teachers' Day celebration!!!!!!!!!!!!! After our hard work, we couldn't help but shout of joy when the results were announced in the hall yest (or Fri is more like it). I realli tot we didn't make it but well, miracles do happen! How I wish I can put "Miracles Happen" song here. In fact I'm listening to it now! But guys, seriously... We'd better work harder and make sure we have the mikes in our hands, our backs not facing the audience and remember our lines!!! We don't want to look like fools on Teachers' Day, realli...

Haiz... Next week, the teachers will be keying in our progress report and guess the most fabulous news ever... I haven't do my Physics, A-Maths and SS holiday hw. In addition, I only finish halfway for A-Maths Factor/Remainder Theorem, Linear Law and Functions. How??? Die die. I'm at a lost of what to do. Then, I oso have 2 wks worth of tt malay bk reort and bio ws. It's so... I dunno! But I can't make myself do them, I just can't I dunno y!!! And it's irritating myself ya noe. Argh!!!!!

Ok... it's... I dunno wad to say... Nitez...

*Blank* *Blank* *Blank*

*Homework* *Homework* *Homework*

Smoke!!! Oh, nothing to panic...

Ok, fine, fine! I just wanna say that I hate farewells! First Rehana and now Asri! This is so... sucky! Urgh, just so... !!!It was during ELDDS that Asri said his family's migrating to Kelantan, Malaysia. I was like, "Haha, funny, I don't believe you..." and he was like, "If you don't believe, ask the rest, Elyn all." I just so can't believe it! He'll be migrating as early as this Sunday summore! Aiyoh! Sigh... Looks like I'm short of 2 friends to talk to during ELDDS now. It's going to be sooo booooriiing!!! Urgh!!! :'( Why must this happen??Ok enough of that (No, not enough! I'm too agitated!) ...

Today was err... tough? Physics pop quiz sure 0/3 and E-Maths test already confirm 10 marks gone, dunno how to do... Sigh... Then Lit, got back test paper, guess what??? I failed... By 1.5 marks...Anw, last period, after Eng, Kenneth announced that we'll be playing angel-mortal. Aiya, so copycat. 3/6 do, 3/2 do, 3/1 do, 3/3 oso wanna do. So let's see, I got... whoops! Cannot tell! So far I only told one person (diff. class) and one more accidently (he saw my paper) but I trust these two not to reveal it. My problem now, what to give, how to give?? I mean he/she comes early and then, if not her friends would come early. Wah, tough! Hmm... I wonder who my angel is...

ELDDS was actually short and sweet but I write very slow so I only went home ard 4. We were supposed to write a poem and this was what I wrote:

"You will never make it.
A dancer you will never be.
The mark you will never hit."
That was what she shouted at me.

Just look at all the pupils looking,
It was totally, totally humiliating.
No words can ever describe how I was feeling,
And all I could think of was just disappearing.

"Oh I'm so sorry, Dolly.
Please, please believe me,
That was just out of a moment's folly!"
She came nearer and hugged me.

Were those last few words really what she meant?
No, I doubt that they were.
My heart will never heal and hence,
Never again will I step in here.

Yeah, it's kinda lame, but that was all I could think of. Ok, I haven't finish my hw, yes at this time... Let me go to sleep now, nitez!!!

Meow, meow! Hehe...

Anyway, I just like the name "dovelove". Wanted to create a new blog with tt name but nah, i prefer pure-princess, hehe.

Ok, today was totally totally boring except for half of P.E. A-Maths... yawn! Aces dance steps... yawn! Chemistry... yawn! IPW... yawn! English... tough! Physics... oh that's the formula?? HML... yawn! (Ok, I'm really yawning now...)

Wah, they burn joss paper suffocating leh! 4th floor, aiyoh...

Argh! Need to go already!! Oh, tataz palz, cyaz! Meow! :p

Sleepyhead is currently my middle name. I slept for like 4 hrs after sch yesterday and 9-10 hrs this morning. Aiyoh! Sch must have emptied me of any energy. Nvm, today's rest day! Though yes got quite a no. of hw and I've already told myself to buck up before it's too late. I've already found a good place to do hw or revise my sch work. Tampines Library!!! Just get a seat and open my books and I can finish at least 1/2 of the day's hw in 1 1/2 hrs. Eventhough I can still fall asleep, like last Thursday, it won't be long for I know I can't sleep in the library, embarrassing... It's quite an accomplishment you know... To actually study... I'll continue with this diligently and hopefully my grades improve. My A-Maths I already prove I can do well. Now it's Physics time!

Btw, Happy Belated Birthday Effa!!! How can I forget...

News for Harry Potter fans, HEX is back! For real, just like before! And... you have all the things you used to own!

Ok, I'm speechless now... I've got loads to say last night but today... Nothing... Oh well, cya all then! Tataz!

Aiyo! I could have died today, that headache was so terrible!!!!

E-Maths... boring... next...

SS, Mr Tan ask us to do source based, headache headache...

Bio was kinda funny. We went through weekend hw before starting new chapter which she says she's gonna go super diduper fast! I dunno y but Ms Lela's voice like so high-pitched! I just couldn't stand the throbbing on the center of my head. Since it's bio, my mind flew away wondering how disgusting our brain looks like, haha!

Recess, oklah... Badminton again... Me and Izyan play play then suddenly the shuttlecock went on the roof. We were so unlucky that Mr Ng saw us, alamak!!!

A-Maths was kinda funny too. Poor Abbas, keep being 'bullied' by Mr Yong. The class went kinda slow that's all...

I passed English compre!!! But not with flying colours... Sigh... I thought I could have done better but only 14/25!!! Oh well... try again...

Malay, we did the wb and I could hardly concentrate. My head was really going to burst! Besides, all those banging I did to relieve the pain was no use, instead the throbbing increases and I think I got bruise...

Lunch was boring. I ate alone. I mean, hello!!! ALONE??? Then I went to bookshop to buy green pen (finally) before paying my fine at the library.

Went up to Physics lab, blah blah, we were asked to do experiment involving mixing hot and cold water. It was supposed to be so easy but I dunno wad got into me, I actually didn't understand the procedure, my my... Luckily before the temp. of the hot water reaches 0 degrees I started to understand and tried to speed up my work. At last oklah... But I know not fair test one...

Finally end of day!!! Blah blah, reached library, study Bio, meet Siti, go home, on comp, here I am! Ok, it's nearly 7, gotta go pray, tataz!!!

Happy 39 Birthday Singapore!!!! May the Singaporean roar stay alive forever!!!!

Before I start blabbing, I would also like to wish Daphne a wonderful birthday! Ok, now I can blab...

I started my morning by watching tv before heading to Eastpoint to get Rehana a farewell gift. Let's see, I got her 3 things: a friendship keychain, a friendship book and a friendship bookmark, hehe. It was great having her in ELDDS and I'm so gonna miss her after tmr (her bbq).

After that, I went to the MRT station to wait for Zhi Xin and everyone else coming for the class gathering at Zhi Xin's condo. It was kinda early and so I was the first... Next I saw Abbas, then Andrea, then Sang Jin and all the others. No sight of the other girls and after some time, the ratio of boys to girls is 8:1. Zhi Xin then asked us to go on first while he waits for anyone else coming. So off we go, Abbas, Andrea, Sang Jin, Kenneth, Marcus, Heng Ky and Chuan Li to Melville Park. I felt so out of place. I mean... the only girl!!! Hello!!!

When we reached the basketball court, we saw Galvin, Ren Liang, Song Wei and Samuel already there. At first I didn't know what to do. I wanted to join the basketball game but they looked so rough. The street soccer game, nah, dun feel like emptying my stomach of any air. The tennis game, oh no no, I'm not gonna embarrass my opponent infront of the other tennis players.

Then Zhi Xin said he wanted to go to his house and asked if I wanted to follow him so I can chat with Si Hui, Shi Yun and Karen. Along the way, we met Emily and Shen Shen. Since the two girls were heading to the basketball court I decided to turn back with them. When we reached the basketball court, I noticed no one was playing basketball. So well, I took the ball without hesitation and started shooting some goals as I used to. After awhile, Galvin and Billy joined me and we played ABC. I just love that as it's not so competitive or rough. Galvin was in first position, me second and Billy last, hehe. Galvin kept saying I scored 'cos of netball luck. Ahem, I'm not even in netball... It's just I used to play a lot of ABC in primary school. So well... we continued playing until almost all the rest had gone to the bbq pit. It was left with me, Samuel, Sang Jin and Ren Liang. We shot a few more goals before packing up to go to the bbq pit. Oh man... these guys are so not gentleman, I actually had to TELL them to help bring the things.

At the bbq pit, we saw that all the food had been laid out. Before long, the cooler tub was filled with two watermelons, several bottles of drinks and... just a packet of ice?? and the pit was lit. It's sad though that I had to go home already...

At home, I watched the NDP parade of course. The best part is obviously the fireworks but the tribute to PM Goh was just as touching. I realised how much he had done for Singapore as PM. And now, he'll step down on 12th Aug. Singapore moved forward alongside him and SM Lee. Luckily the new PM seems to be as active as PM Goh.

After the parade was Singapore Idol, OH MY GOD, some peeps were just... frightening... But yeah, those who got the golden card deserved it...

Watching extreme makeover now but I'd better sleep soon 'cos I need to go to sch tmr to do
the library noticeboard... Haiz...

Btw, did'ya noe tt Singapore Night Safari was the first night zoo ever and that Singapore holds the record of having, I think, >1000 Singaporeans doing line dancing. I'm so proud of you Singapore, long live!!!!

Thursday... Thursday... Thursday... Yawn...

Let's see... I left my bro this morn, went without him, sooo looong... Reached sch quite late. Discussed library with Sarah awhile, class bbq with Zhi Xin awhile and tried to finish my malay compo but as you know my class, so kancong, so fast switch off lights so I had to bring my book down. Downstairs I wrote a bit more before flag raising, blah, blah, announcement of classes that made it into tmr's competition... Sec 3/1, 3/2 and 3/6... As expected no 3/3... A bit disappointed of cos, but at least we tried.

First two periods, English test, compre "O" level paper, was quite easy in my opinion except for 1 or 2 tricky qns. It might be that I followed Mr Tan's advice or that I read qns wrongly, dunno larz...

Reading period was ok, well... Just read lor. Malay, we did sentence formation and the wb (which many neva finish).

Recess, same as yest...

Chem got back test paper. So glad I passed! I really tot I failed cos I panicked that day and neva do many qns (I mean I left 3/5 of the MCQ totally blank, what do ya call tat??). Lucky me those that I did one I got correct...

Bio did ws. Ok, when Ms Lela say she's going fast she really would. Grr... Holiday need to read Bio txbk, haiz...

CME!!! Tot free period but Ms Rajah come in and talk bout petting during relationship and signals you give the opposite sex, aiyoh so boring!!! I just don't like the way she stand and talk, dun ask me why. So basically I was like... dunno larz... Lucky got my class jokers, got laughter...

End of day, had to stay back got short rehearsal for Teacher's Day play. Aiyo, so few people turned up, kinda boring. And I didn't enjoy it much as some were so draggy and I was fighting against time, got library duty ya noe. Finally at round 2:30, it's over and off I go to da library. Ok, I'll skip this part, it's all a routine so well... I'm bored hearing it myself...

Missed 10 so waited for the next one. So many people in the next one, so I skip it and took the next. Plenty of empty space for me to enjoy my malay book. Oh tat reminds me, I need to do book review, cyaz peeps!!!

And now what? Share my room also? What else? Grr... yes yes I'm selfish, get that into your head...

Once again, please don't mind me...

What's his problem?? Come home only like what. Then just because he must change seat to watch tv while eating, he ask so much why the comp must be there blocking the way. Hello, how I know! It's all engineering stuff , Abang knows what's he doing lah! Why would he for nothing look for your anger huh? Come on, it's just watching tv during eating. That itself is a bad habit. We're just one of the fortunate families to have a small tv in the dining room ok, never realise that I suppose. Am I the only one who's ever grateful?? At least among the people around me, I think so... People keep complaining about what they don't have or have too little. Hey, if you don't have one thing, I tell you, you have another and if you have too little, be grateful that you have it! Then during dinner, all sudden ask whether want to keep one or two prawns for my brother. Please he ate already and my other brother don't eat so I said, "Easy, just finish the prawns (which was left like two more only) so my brother won't see and won't even enquire about it. Besides sometimes he doesn't even eat, then wasted. Anyway, if what is left for you is only one and it is very nice, you'd keep asking if there's more and will be err... kempunan. So why don't we just finish it?" Then he say, "Selfish!" Excuse me!!! Don't have to be so harsh right?? Then continue eating why you keep looking at the prawns, aiya!

Then the other he, come home make silly remarks which I now find very irritating. I don't know what to say already lah, I'd better finish yesterday's job application thingy, urgh!!!

Erm... guys? Ignore the last 3 posts k? That was so totally not me...

Btw, I just got broadband hurray!!! For both computers summore... Ok, my story for today now:
Morning, was a bit fed up at my bro cos I wanna reach sch early to read my SS for test today budden he wants to top-up his ezlink and off we go to MRT station, aiyo... Reach sch no time to go upstairs, so I just sit at the parade sq and soon was joined my peeps after peeps, which means I couldn't concentrate on my SS, sigh... First period E-Maths, neva do 1/2 da hw but neva got into trouble of cos though I feel a bit bad I didn't even try... But I know how to do! Well, no. 6 at least, 7 is like a "huh" thing to me, nvm.

Next SS, Mr Tan say that he took sources about Northern Ireland for fairness and reliability. He gave us some time to read up and then test begin. Wasn't so bad... I followed the steps in Ms Neo's notes (btw, Asri can lend ur SS notes, I wanna photostate) and think I did ok. I mean it's Mr Tan marking, his expectations are definitely much lower.

Bio was ok too. I passed, phew! But I know I could have done better as got some stupid, very stupid mistakes. Know what? Billy got highest! The class slacker is now improving, we other slackers are doomed!!!

Recess, no TAF!!! Mr Ng was absent and no one brought out the badminton rackets, so we just stood around before dispersing.

A-Maths was soooo funny today!!! We started on trigo funct, then got the TOA CAH SOH (big foot auntie in hokkien or something), got shortcuts to getting answers and got this ASTC table we must memorise. Know what Mr Yong suggested to make us remember? All Science Teachers are Crazy, haha!!! He also added All Students of Temasek are Creative, but not as funny as Chuan Li's All Staff of Temasek are Crazy, eheh!!!

After that we had Eng, oral presentation again, today's one kinda boring... I like Abbas's team's topic but i could hardly hear them so, well...

M.T. Cikgu Alijah not in and we had to do Karangan. I had writter's block and had to force myself write a draft before starting to write proper which I never finished on time of cos. Lucky thing Cikgu say can hand in tmr.

Lunch... Forget it, skip!

Physics was gr8! Totally! Me and Siti were joking round throughout the lesson eventhough we have a very big flame infront of us as well as a very hot screw nut. I called Siti Silly Siti and she called me Silly Marli and stuff. At the end of the lesson, I still haven't finish my paper, last qns, dunno how to do hehe.

Went here there here there then suddenly end up in 3/7 and was asked to join the sing song competition. I had only like what 10-20 mins to prepare?? There's all the steps to memorise as well as the lyrics ya noe! Somehow I managed a bit and then we were on stage doing what we should, a bit of a disaster really on my part really, I forgot part of the lyrics and steps, whoops, sry guys! After that Siti said she couldn't hear us and I was like, "O... K..."

Got out of sch, wait for bus, reach home, on da comp and now! I'm supposed to continue the job application letter and resume but dunno where I put the draft, aiyoh...

Forget it, at most I'll just lie that I e-mail already. I'll send that e-mail (letter) tomorrow. Resume wrong, application wrong, how to apply for job?? Aiyoh, I still havent study and just look at the time... Freak!!!!

Will you stop nagging me?????!!!! What proper rest?? I haven't even learn my SS ok! I'm now writing what, a job application letter for my aunt which my mum insist I write now! It's not like I'm dilly-dally go online, go friendster and chat like Abang k! So what if I type with one hand? I find I type faster tghis way. I've trained myself to hold a paper with my left hand and type with my right ok. I rarely need to press backspace. My right hand practically glide and dance on the keyboard without having to juggle a piece of paper. Just look at you, smoking right infront of me, no wonder I got lung infection last time. Then keeo singing out of tune, not funny, but irritating. I can't say this out loud. I never will... I wanna sleep now... It's nearly 11 already!!! How did I get myself into this big mess, tell me!!!!!

I don't care what people think of me, I'm gonna write what I truly feel right now. I feel so helpless, angry and whatever indescribable feelings that may fit. It may be from stress, it may be from bottled up feelings and all. I feel like no one cares how I (would) feel as long as they get what they want. This has been going on throughout July and I hate it so so much! I can't tell anyone but silently cry out tears full of my feelings. Then after awhile I'll think about it and try to laugh it off. No matter how hard I try to make things right, there'll always be this hole in my heart pierced by such a sharp arrow and this wound can never heal, just continue bleeding more and more. If this goes on, I'll go crazy!!! I might just start talking to walls ya noe! No wonder my temper so short in July, just look at last Sat during that Campfire thing, I nearly shouted in public. On Monday, I let go a bit, but not all, I know myself, I can still control. People are just taking advantage of me because I don't talk back. I don't retaliate or shout back at them. I will only express my feelings in my so-long-never-write diary, so-long-never-update blog or through hidden meanings, like poems. I thought when both my brothers are finally allowed to go home everyday (U n NS) I can talk to them. I can get help for my hw. I have someone to lend me a listening ear. I'll be the so rotected and loved small sister. But no, I get none of this. Instead I get back the jealousy that used to fill me. The jealousy that my mum prefers my 2nd bro. To me, he gets the priorities. This is just my opinion, but tell me, what makes me come to this solution?? My eldest brother, I thought he can spare some time for my Maths, instead he comes home like at 12 midnight after tutoring another Sec 3 kid somewhere. It hurts ya noe! Then nobody cares if I have a project dued or a test the next morning, they just want what they want. Nobody knows when I'm on the verge of giving up, of just ignoring my responsibilities. There's friends, teachers and parents in this. All is pressing on me. I just can't open my mouth to protest, I can only open my mouth a gap and close it back before replying, "Ok..." I just can't. I don't know how to say no. I know what I'm doing is something good to help others, but it costs myself. I'm not sincere in doing what I do and also my own things are left unfinished, what's the use?? Someone please help me...