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No.. no... NO!!!! How can common test be so near?? Next week start already?? I don't even know what are the topics coming out! Geez... Monday and Wednesday... Higher Malay... *slashes throat**blood spills TERRIBLY* Haiz... Look on the bright side, I'll be watching Boeing Boeing on Tuesday (yes.. a day before HML P2) and I'll be performing the 10 min play in front of the gym on Friday. The Angel's coming! Lol, in case you are unaware, I'm the angel in the play. Anyway, how can I forget this, I finally got a trophy in Sec school yesterday! It's a CCA award! Woo hoot! I'm so so so glad! I really feel like a winner somewhat hehe. One more thing, how could I forget to mention this, I got to talk to (erm... smsed) Fazillah a few weeks ago and it feels so nice getting to know her again! I regarded her my best friend last time, but now eh... I don't really remember what she likes and stuff. Recently I got to know her birthday is coming, but I don't have anything for her! Haiz, Mothers' Day's coming and basically broke. Well, I gotta go now if I want to START doing some homework. I've been reading peribahasa all day. That reminds me, need to visit my Malay teacher's website for HML help. Cyaz fellaz!

BOEING BOEING !T!H!U!N!K! Hahaz... 3/4 of my class were at Victoria theatre to watch 'Boeing Boeing' and I'm not part of the crowd. Know why? Cause... 1) ELDDS priority since I paid more for it 2) I'm not sure if there'd be ticket for me if I go since I told Mr Tan I'm not going with the class 3) Too exhausted since it's the fifth day after I got a well-rested sleep (which always falls on Saturday only) 4) I have SS SBQ which I haven't do. By the way... I still haven't do the SBQ. I just don't understand what the question looks for! Being me, I gave up on it and went on to finish E-Maths transformation (I still haven't hand in haiz...), which also I didn't finish cause I got stuck. In short, I've done N-O-T-H-I-N-G since I reached home, which makes me so depressed! I idle my time away and I really regret it each time!!! But I don't know what to do... Wah! Really, I broke down on ... eh I forgot when... but this week larz. Then, I spent the following days putting on a brave front but I'm actually squirming under my skin. I know I'm gonna fail the E-Maths test this morning (which I must agree is the ...

Sorry, I just broke down again. I can't take it! My stress when mixed with cigarette smoke gives an ExpLoSioN ok! Oh and when mixed with my mum's nagging I'm simply blasted to smithereens... Can't they UNDERSTAND what I'm going through and HELP me?? Can't they even provide a condusive place for me to study?? Once in a while I hear the clicks of the lighter and my heart just starts to beat faster. I can never forget what I went through when I got the lung infection in Pri 5 and I'd definitely not want to go through it again. I keep seeing the images of bleeding brain, clogged blood vessels and infections everywhere in the organs due to smoking. I hate the smoke so much that I despise it, detest it!

continued... easiest test we've had since Sec 4 started) because I panicked and forgot how to do stretch and shear. Like WHAT-THE- Grrr... After the test, I simply take a look in my exercise book and I told myself, "There goes half your marks..." I feel so demoralised, help? Please?

I think I'd better go offline and write my SBQ. I must show some product at the end of today to make up for not being able to join my classmates to watch 'Boeing Boeing'. I feel so !T!H!U!N!K!E!D! Hahaz... I wanna cry, scream and shout out load. I need someone to take off the burden on my shoulders. I don't want to grow shorter...

I'm soooooooooooooooooooooo stressed! I'm on the verge of tears again. I was just planning on doing maths when Siti reminded me of SS file. Sheesh... I haven't do corrections for last week's SEQ, how?? Wah!!! Help me...

I... I... I passed my 2.4! In fact, I got a D! How cool is cool cool? Hehe, I'm very happy when I heard I got 16.59. Not bad for people like me who always fail or get an E only you know... Okla, that's all I wanna post today. I don't wish to write about my misery for the public to read. Haiz... Tomorrow got ELDDS... Gotta go now, tataz!

Homework... Help... It's late Sunday... I'm doomed...

Haiz, I played all day, no work. Really, I MUST WAKE UP before it's too late... Anyway, changed a lil here and there on my blog. The song you notice is the same, just faster. And I found the lyrics!

Haritsumeta yumi no
Furueru tsuru yo
Tsuki no hikari ni, zawameku
Omae no kokoro

Togisumasareta
Yaiba no utsukushii
Sono kissaki ni yoku nita
Sonata no yokogao

Kanashimi to ikari ni
Hisomu makoto no kokoro
Wo shiru wa, mori no sei
Mononoke tachi dake, mononoke tachi dake...

I've been singing it for two whole days! By the way, yesterday I divided my hair into six portions, then I braided them neatly, though it looks a little horrible. But then today I released the braids, I look a cross between Hermione Granger and ABBA singer. My hair was sooooo frizzy! But it felt nice as if I have really thick hair so I decided to braid again. It's much neater now, I wonder how it'll be tomorrow... Cya tomorrow pals!

Friday again! It's both good and bad... Good because I've survived a whole week of torturous homework. But, bad because it means I'm getting closer and closer to 'O's and I'm juz... FREAKING OUT BUT DOING NOTHING!!! No... I want good grades, I wanna get to Meridian, I wanna take subjects that I WANT, I wanna excel, I wanna get on to NUS and pursue my dream to be a doctor. But all I can say is, FAT CHANCE LAZY HEN! Haiz... What's my problem?? I'm not even myself in school. I'm so distanced from and hostile towards my friends. I know I'm being really quiet these days and I can't say I know the reasons to it. It is possible that I think talking does not serve any purpose but just waste my time. It is also possible that deep inside I long to be free, to fly through the clouds and just get loose. I feel so tied down! I want some adventurous stuff. As in outdoors rather rough kinda adventures like abseiling, snorkeling or gliding in the sky, sliding across ice, flying in a hotair balloon. Those kinda stuff... I really want them. One more thing, this morning I saw an aeroplane flying somewhere above the school. As I watched it fly higher and higher, I really wished I was in it. I can't remember what's it like being in an aeroplane or even a boat!!! Haiz... I really want these wishes fulfilled. Hmm... I just have this sudden thought, what if I die tomorrow? Dunno why, it just came across my mimnd. Nevermind about it, I don't want to know the answer to it just yet. I don't want to live for an eternity or what, I just hope I'd die a Muslim... Cya some other time guyz, oh and happy birthday Shida! :)

Tut... Tut... Tut... Haiz, been so busy so far. Sec 4 is like bing on an extremely express bus which literally flies you from Sg across the globe. I've been sleeping so late around 1-2 am or sleep early but wake up at around 4 am each day to do homework. Even my religious class is giving homework, projects and what not. Help... I'd better not talk anymore, gotta finish my lil lil homework which piles up high in the sky soon. I'm already behind time with my English corrections dued like months ago and stuff. Well, till next time... Luv ya...