I hate Grandsazers!!!! The advertisement for its performance was damn sucky and yesterday I feel like throwing my plate at the tv when the ad was on!

Well, here's what happened... I was eating dinner at the small table in front of the tv. My mum was watching tv too while my dad using the comp and watching the small tv. I was chomping chomping when "Exams are over and the results are out!" I just froze there and then. My mum heard the words alright... Exams over... Results out... So there starts the interrogation.

I'm already so depressed. I know my position and I know what I should do in the June so-called hols. All this while I keep my report book with me all the way till the night before school reopen. I hate Grandsazers!!!! To its damn core!!!! Stupid stupid grandsazers!!!! Can't they just say the holidays are here or something!!!!! Grr... I could have sued the advertiser.

Haiz... yesterday's the last day of semester 1 and the last day of being in the MI room, I'll never forget such a memorable room where the class bonded so closely and where laughter and gloom and food and stationeries were shared. I'm gonna miss the aircon and the close arrangemenyts of the chairs. No matter how much I really hate to sit in front of Sharon (the juices of the fly is the main main reason), the others around me, especially Min Si made a difference. Oh well...

Since yesterday was the last day, it meant clean-up day and report book. 4R was supposed to clean Mr Tan's homeroom at 03-02 but there was so many of us and it's just too crowded. So off I went to HML room where Miss Nora asked my HML class to clean but it turns out Sec 1s were already appointed to do it so I just dusted some blinds (seeing a number of spiders as well, lucky I'm not arachnophobic) and went off to the MI room. I found a number of my classmates there, Chuan Li, Marcus, Valerie, Tallie, Emily, Karen, Rusy and some other boys. It was already sparkling clean but I insisted on going into the room for one last time so Rusy and I removed our footwear and trotted inside to find every corner clean which leaves us with exactly nothing to do.

So I went out and took the job of changing the pailwater with Valerie at the girls' changing room. There was one part where Hengky forgot to remove one cloth and neither Val nor me dipped our hands in the murky water to check for 'drowned' cloth and so we just poured out the water into an open water hole. Pour, pour, pour and suddenly PLOP! I was stunned for a moment. "What was that??" I asked Val. I thought it was a frog or something but Val knew what it was and was already calling out for Hengky. I looked into the hole and there is was, a cloth. I was still rooted in the cubicle when Val ran out back to the MI room screaming "Hengky!!!!!!" all the way. It was so funny! I sounded like she's calling out her boyfriend whom she hadn't seen for years, but of course la in actual fact she was fuming at Hengky for not checking properly.

That was such a funny part, but thsat's not all! It seems that MI room only has happy memories for us, other than a funny smell at times near the center of the room. I was just standing outside the room with Val, barefooted. We can't go in the room cause our feet's dirty, so we just stood outside. Rusy and Karen were doing some dance steps. Karen was remembering all the funny times they'd had during dance. What she didn't realize was that we all were watching her and she was soooo funny. Marcus caught it on video and watching it again makes us laugh so hard. At one time, two Sec 5 boys saw her and gave her the 'look' and she was so embarrassed and we laughed. Those were the last few minutes of the MI room.

It was noon and we headed back to our homeroom to get our results. Really, I was sooooooooooo disappointed! I was 30th in class yes, that's somewhat an achievement and I passed my overall percentage BUT I failed three subjects, E8 being the lowest and my L1R5 could get me nowhere if those were my O level results. I really felt smacked in the face...

Anyway, I've got 3 last papers to sit for tomorrow for my religious class before I can start whatever I wanna do. Wish me luck! I've been doing well for my religious class and I wish to keep it that way!

Sigh... Sigh... Sigh... My grades are so bad... From two subjects, now I have 3 (wait, I think 4) subjects fail already... So sad... Many people are improving or at least on the same level as before but me? I'm drowning deep deep into the water. I really hope my slow swimming would bring me to the surface again. I need the air... I need my A1s... By the way, anyone feel like making a study group? I'm thinking about it, but... I'm not sure it'll work for me... Well, off to... I guess study, cyaz!

P.S. Congrats Carrie for being crowned America's 4th Idol!

Finally! Physics is over!! I'm soooooooo darn glad. Actually, the paper was rather ok. Can pass lar and honestly, I'm just looking for a pass in physics. I've received back 2 pprs already: A-Maths and English P2, both... well sucks. I failed both. I wonder what I'm gonna fail next. English P2 we got it back today. When I saw my marks, I was just like, "Expected Expected..." What else can you expect when you stupidly, idiotically, whateverly do summary first instead of Passage B and completely left it out except for 2 Qns??! That *(out of adjectives, my vocab's so bad)* hard summary took up like 1 hour of my preciousssss time. Grrrr.... Ok, stop, I shall not dwell on it.

After being in the specially privellegious (ermz...) MI room, I feel the class has really united. We're more than a class. I like the feeling, like so secure... Aiya, I'm tired standing since just now already, gonna go study now and then watch tv. I need to destress... Cyaz!

I... forgot how to walk... Oh well, after one week limping cause of tendon strain, now I simply have to learn how to walk again. I feel like a baby man! Actually my leg ok already (after the doctor PAINFULLY twisted it back) but because I forgot how I used to walk, I still limp. Haiz... Monday, Tuesday. Wednesday I could walk. But Thursday, even lying on my bed quietly was so painful! I tossed and turned from 5 - 9 a.m. before I went to see to the doctor with so many staring eyes directed at me. I feel like staring back at them and demanding, "What see see, jealous izzit?" But well, can't really blame them. How many people my age walk like I did, honestly?

I've been feeling so depressed lately. The common tests were near hell and after I sit for the papers, I know for sure that I'm gonna fail. I didn't have time to finish for all my papers. That makes time management my main problem. Second would be last minute studying. I really need to pull up my socks (all the way to my head) if I wanna get to MJC or TJC. I must do something, REAL SOON! Most of my friends are doing much better than me. Class tests, NAPFA and all. Yes there are people doing not as well as me, but still... We received our A-Maths paper already and... eventhough I improved, I failed only by two marks and some of my marks were gone because of careless mistakes but... I know I could have done better if I'd studied earlier and practised. That was like the easiest paper I sat for and yet, I failed... But I know I can do it. I just need some time and someone who can push me into doing my work.

Home alone now... My dad's at work and so is my second brother. My eldest brother at Mendaki and my mum at a Mothers' Day function. Oh well... There's my malicious black cat, Malice 'keeping me company' by running away the second she catches sight of me.

My comp's just been reformatted because it's was infected by so many viruses. There goes my lovely files and pictures... So sad, but the reformat was necessary.

I dunno whether I should cut my hair or not. With short hair, I can wash it everyday and not the routine 3 times a week. I'd feel much lighter and not so burdened by so many things. But with long hair, I can style it however I want it to be like. Just letting it loose feels so great. Maybe it's just that I fear I'd look funny with a haircut. My schoolmates remember me with long hair. I cut my hair in Sec 1 and has been keeping it ever since. I'm in Sec 4 now, it should be about 3 years already. I wanted to just cut my hair after my 'O' levels but almost everyone is cutting their hair and they look nice and fresh. I've always wanted to have the longest hair in class and I've achieved that in my Malay class. In my form class, only Christine has hair as long as if not longer than mine. I dunno larz...

After 16 years on Earth, I've yet to find something I'm talented in. I can't play any musical instrument fluently, I can't sing nor dance nor act well. I can't write poems or stories. I can't even talk spontaneously fluently. I don't even do well in my studies. I really have no idea what I wanna be when I grow up. Ok, maybe I do have some ideas, but can I achieve them. I don't really believe much in chance.

Conclusion: I'm so insignificant! I live my life because I have to. I'm just following the flow of each day.

I'm gonna study Chem now. I wanna get at least one distinction... Happy Belated Birthday Fazillah and Sharon... Happy Birthday Si Hui... Happy Early Birthday Marcus...

Haiz... Me always like this... Got new things, abandon the old... My poor bloggy, I post at class blog forgot to post at my own bloggy larling. Eee... Why me like that?? Sowie sowie, hehe...